The Road Less Traveled

I am heading out of town on my very first business trip since the frog princess was born.  Yes, I have been breathing into a paper bag since I realized what this meant. For two whole nights, I will not be putting my baby girl to bed.  I haven't left her since she was 4 months old, when I went to Tampa for a concert on my birthday and was gone for all of 15 hours (it was an overnight trip).  Back then, mami kept her and she was still small.  These days, she spends her days asking #1 Caregiver for mama.  I am trying not to think about how she will feel not seeing me in the morning and not setting eyes on me at night.  I know that it's "no big deal" and I "have to be away from her at some point". That's what people are telling me.

These people have no idea and I am not even sure if I can or want to explain it.  I've been lucky. I have the type of child that I've never wanted to be away from.  I'm sure there will come  a time, perhaps when the terrible twos hit, where all I will want is some time alone.  That hasn't happened yet.  Being away from her has just never even been a thought or something I've wanted to do.

I don't know what I could give to my frog princess so that she knows everything's going to be okay.  That mami will return in a couple of days.  More importantly, I don't know how I will fare but I certainly hope that I can take my A game on my trip because, after all, business is business and I still have a job to do.

Phone calls with the frog princess on regular days are hard because she gets upset when she hears my voice and does the international sign for "come here" to the phone trying to get me to pick her up. I suppose I could Skype but I don't now if that would be more troubling for her.

Ever been away from your 19-month old?  How did you react? How did you feel? What can I expect? Now, if you'll excuse me, I just blew through my 3rd paper bag!