It is way past my bedtime. Â The clock is running towards 2 a.m. and, here I am, wide awake. Â I had a rough bedtime with the frog princess today. Â Although she asked to be taken to her crib to sleep, once there, she began to cry. Â So hard that, when I went to pick her up, I found a little present in her diaper (she's very thoughtful like that). Â I cleaned her up, put her in the bed and, a few minutes later she was fast asleep. Â I waited a few more minutes and then attempted to set her in her crib once again. Â I was determined to just let her cry it out this time but, the wails tugged at my heart. Â A few minutes later, when I walked into her room once again, I found she'd cried so hard in those few minutes that she'd thrown up. Â Enter extreme mami guilt here. Â I picked her up, cleaned her off and, rocked her to sleep. Â This time, I put her in my bed where she stayed for the rest of the night without waking (thank God!). The frog princess is due for her CT scan in the morning. Â As I went to crawl into bed with her, it seemed that my heart had other thoughts. Â I rose from the comfort of my bed to begin a discussion with The Man. Â The opening line was: I don't think I want to get this test done tomorrow. Â We talked. Â I tell you what, The Man and I have many differences of opinion. Â We don't always see eye to eye. Â Our breakup is teaching me a lot about what I say and don't say (and how I should get better at opening up though, if you read my blog it might surprise you that I have a problem with that). Â The one thing that I can say without question and without reserve is that when it comes to our baby girl, we make an awesome team because our focus is her and her best interest.
Although I've been thinking about it since climbing back into bed, I think we've made the right decision. Â First off, I want to try one of the other pediatric neurologists that I researched. Â There's no reason I can't shop around, especially if I am not getting the answers that I believe I deserve. Â We will keep a close eye on the frog princess and make everyone aware of the measures that need to be taken should a fever present itself. Â Most importantly, we wanted our baby girl to not be put through unnecessary tests, discomfort and possible trauma without concrete and objective explanations. Â Decisions will always have to be made as we parent but, ultimately, WE are the ones that need to empower ourselves in the treatment of our children and ourselves. Â Doctors know a lot but, only YOU know your child.
After writing this, I found these two links that might be helpful if you're looking for more information on this topic: