Joyful Grief

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Grief has taught me to allow myself time and space. But I don't always listen. Mami & Me 3When I don't, it is made on my behalf and memories flood my soul and I see images through the filter of time and love...5 years ago, I was waiting on my sister to come home as I counted my mother's breaths. I was still nursing and I recall Elena trying to play her tapping game with Mami. Except she didn't yell in the mock pain that made Elena giggle. I remember Robiaun on the phone asking me to give her a kiss on her behalf. I remember putting my head on my father's lap and closing my eyes.

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I recall time slowed down as we attempted to pack as much of it as we could hold in our hands.

I remember the feel of her hand inside my own. The great shoulder pain I experienced afterward and realizing I'd spent most of the night propped up on my elbow lying next to her.

Most of all, I remember feeling incredibly blessed and humbled to have spent a night in vigil.

Oh and who remembers the delirious party planning Mami was doing?! That was the best!

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If you don't know that there is a certain joy in death, come sit by me and I'll tell you a story. Joy is tied to dignity, to peace and to love. In the end, it is all that we have and all that we take.

If you don't know that there is a certain joy in death, come sit by me and I'll tell you a story. Joy is tied to dignity, to peace and to love. In the end, it is all that we have and all that we take. - Sili

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