Mami's Guide to Football: The Game

Pardon my total lack of posting on the subject last week. I am not entirely sure where the time-space continuum took me and can therefore offer up no good explanation except that I had ish going on. This week you don't get a video. Why, you ask? Well, my hair is in no video condition. I mean, it's not even wild and crazy and football cool. So no video for you!

What I have this week is probably best in a post anyway. I want to tell you about the game. Like, what happens when the players run out to the field. Because, isn't this where all hell breaks loose as far as you knowing what's going on?

I have this little book in my arsenal. Well actually, I have two. Don't judge me.

Related Post: Mami's Guide to Football: Positions

But, unless you are a ridiculous fanatic, you're not going to read this from cover to cover. Think of this as the anti Fifty Shades of Grey. Like, really. There are 11 pages of definitions, 8 pages relating to game timing and 7 pages relating to scoring. If you think that football is just guys running around on the field, you do not have a grasp of the detail, precision and planning that takes place in this game. It makes the project manager in me giddy to see all this documentation! But, I digress.

The NFL has some very in-depth documentation on their site that gives you all of this as well but, I am going to give you just a few things here and there that you can read, understand and pay attention to during the games this week.

The coin toss: yes, I'm starting right at the beginning. The team captains go to the center of the field and the coin is tossed. The captain of the visiting team gets to call heads or tails. Now, if you are a great defensive team (like my old Bucs) you would opt to play defense first. This just means that's who is going to get on the field first from the team that wins the coin toss.

You will see that the special teams will come on the field and the kicking team will kick the ball to the receiving team. When a receiver catches the ball their only goal is to get as close to the other end zone as possible. This run will determine the field position in which the offense will start the game. Now, a little note here. If the ball is kicked and it goes into the end zone of where the receiving team is waiting then the team automatically starts at the 20 yard line. The goal of the kicking team is to make sure that the receiving team gets as little running room as possible. Make sense?

Once a starting field position is determined, you will see the offense and defense take the field. The offense's goal is to get into the end zone and the defense is there to stop them. In order for the offense to get there, they are given 4 chances to go 10 yards. That's how the ball gets down the field. This is where you hear "1st and 10, 2nd and 8" and so forth. That just means it's the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th try and the last number is the number of yards that the team has to go to make it. If they get over the 10 yards in one play, that's fine. But if they don't get past the 10 yards within those tries then the other team gets the ball. Those 4 tries are called "down".

Most times, the team won't risk "going for it" on the 4th down if they are still far from getting those 10 yards because they might lose the ball and the other team will end up in better position. That's when you see that the offense will "punt" the ball. At that time, the other team receives it and they try to run for the best field position and things start all over again.

If the offense gets a penalty or if the defense pushes back a runner carrying the ball, the offense can lose yards. This means that instead of going 10 yards, they may need to go more. I wanted to say this because sometimes you'll hear the announcers say 2nd and 15. That's how that 2nd number can be higher than 10. But, I'll get into penalties in a different blog. If you want to find out all about them beforehand, you can go to this page and get your learnin' on. And yes, there are 11 pages covering penalty enforcements.

Which brings me to signals. Here are your visuals for the week. If you want this all in one document, head on over to the Officials signal page and get your signals on. This will help as we move on next week to talk more about penalties and some plays.







So, does this make sense or am I talking Klingon to you? If you are just like "whatever mami, I just can't deal with this football jargon!" I found something for you. The Wyndham Orlando has a Football Widows Reprieve that might be more to your liking. Check this out what the package includes:

  1. Two Massive Martinis per day Two Round Trip I-Drive Trolley Shuttle passes to Prime Outlet Shopping Center Nightly chocolate turndown service Honey, I'm here! postcard to significant other $10 per day Resort Gift Shop certificate

With packages starting at $119 and my recent delirium with the food and view over at their Gatorville restaurant, I might try and sneak in with a TV on a sports channel to take advantage of this deal.  To book the Football Widows Package, call (800) 421-8001 and request package PKGFBW. Reservations must be made for a minimum two-night stay at least three days in advance and are subject to availability.

I just had to tell you about that deal because I'm awesome like that. See you next week! In the meantime, study up while I go get my hair done.

Related Post: Mami's Guide to Football: Positions