Tiny pumpkin breads. That was my trigger this week. I baked a batch of them and it took me down memory lane. I recall my girlfriend bringing a little loaf of pumpkin bread to my mom and I on that last "good" stay at the hospital. She loved it, as did I. It was December. The stay where they told us the tumor had started growing again and there was nothing that could be done. The time when I had to hold my Mami's hand and tell her there was nothing that could be done. My dad couldn't even come into the room because he was so broken up. Because I'd always managed her care, the doctors left it to me to break the news. How do you tell the woman who gave you life that she's losing hers?
The holidays hold extra heartache for me because it stands in dark contrast in my eyes. That last Christmas, unable to really spend the quality time I wanted to with her. And then all those other Christmases because this was her favorite time of the year. I'm up and down during the holidays.
In talking to friends and family that have experienced loss, they tell me the same thing. So, I try to hold space for them during this time. Because we always feel like we should cover up our emotions so that others can have a good time. Those conversations, that grief, is what led to this:
A little e-book that I hope will help those experiencing grief during the holidays and beyond as they walk with their loss. It is my prayer that we can all make it through the season appreciating, cherishing and understanding one another. In spite the pain we might experience because we're missing someone in our lives.
The book is called Not So Merry & Bright: 10 Tips On How to Cope with Grief During the Holidays and is now available. I hope it serves you.