There's a ton of stuff that I should be pissed off about (my dog getting old and "forgetting" he's supposed to poop outside, @Task not coming with a detailed user's manual, my failed relationship, the death of my mother, the fact that I just saw 2 House episodes that I've never seen before, to name a few). What I've been realizing lately, though, is that I have so much more to be thankful for. Â So many people in my life that continue to bless me. Â In big and small ways.
Last Sunday I had a little me time and went to the bookstore. Â As I went to pick up my copy of Tyrese's How To Get Out of Your Own Way, I saw a little blue book that caught my attention: 365 Thank Yous. I loved the title.
Sadly, I only alloted myself enough money for ONE book. Â If you know me, you know that part of that is because I'm trying to get better with my budget (I guess I should also be pissed for no longer working at my favorite book fair place and getting books for free) and part of that is because I have way too many books as it is - see previous statement). But, I may not need to read it because between the title, the description and the review, who needs to read (I think Amazon reviews are the new Cliff Notes, don't you?).
I love personal notes. Love writing them, receiving them and have always made it a point to send them out (I remember one year right after my birthday celebration, climbing into bed and writing them til I got a cramp in my hand). Â Thing is, for a long time, I have been mentally ticking off the people that I am grateful for and telling myself that I was going to write up some thank you notes. Â And I haven't. Â I can make a ton of excuses: I have shitty handwriting (see, I was supposed to be a doctor but then switched majors in college and by then it was too late to fix the handwriting thing), Â I don't have cool thank you notes, I have a great design on my head but, when do I actually have time to design and order them (and they'll probably be a fortune since they're personalized and totally cool), I don't have everyone's mailing address. Â I have been refusing to email a thank you note but finally broke down and sent one out yesterday because it was in my heart to do so. I'm glad I did.
The book reminded me of all those people. Â The ones that kept me close to their hearts in prayer while my mami was sick, the ones that shared their stories and their love for her after she passed away. Â Even the amoebas that are not only vile and disgusting as human beings but were completely stupid and inappropriate (I have my sources, I know who you are and if you are reading this, I hope that you get a vile rash in your privates so itchy that it makes you skin yourself alive from scratching and that there is no cure. Preferably on your wedding night).
It also reminded me of all of you. Â Some of you reading these words know me. Have known me in the course of my beautiful and fabulous life or have recently had the great pleasure of meeting me. Â But some I have never met and sadly, I never will (though after writing that I am considering taking the show on the road to "perform" my blogs. All except Wax On, Wax Off of course! Oh and The Lord of the Ring).
I want to thank you nonetheless. Â Though few people comment, I know you read (I'm kinda stalking you whether you comment or not). Â I see your Tweets, your FB status updates, your notes and for those bloggers out there, your own pages. Â I've gotten to know you in 140 and 420 characters. Â I find myself being grateful for all of you in a way that I cannot express within the confines of this blog. Because our experiences connect us and though technology is supposedly ruining relationships, I find that sometimes, it brings us closer together.
I have decided that along with decluttering, I will hand write all of the thank you notes that I feel I need to. Â I found a ton of blank note cards that I can use.
Now, unlike this man, I have a job and a life so, I don't know if I'll be able to do one a day for an entire year but, I will try. Â I'm not bullshitting about being grateful for you guys. If you trust me enough (and how could you not! You know all about my vajayjay and my boobs!) email me your mailing address and I promise I'll send you a note. It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow but dammit, it WILL happen!
Legal Note: In true mami fashion, I wanted to say that last week, I sent out a thank you note to a prayer warrior that sent me a great book to help me deal with my grief over mami and I am 99.9% sure I put that bad boy in the mail WITHOUT a damn stamp! Needless to say, not only should you account for the time that it will take me to actually find a note card, write it and lick the envelope but, you should also account for the possible 3 weeks it's going to take for it to be sent back to me for being a douche and forgetting the stamp (side note: why will it take them so long to get it back to me? You'd think the mailman would've looked at the damn thing when he pulled it out of the mailbox! It was the only thing in there). Don't judge me!
Anywho, I am grateful for so much in life and I am truly feeling blessed and highly favored this evening. Â There's a certain peace in my home tonight that can only be achieved through knowledge of self, forgiveness, acceptance and prayer. Â And possibly through one or two alcoholic beverages.
What are you thankful for at this moment?