I learned a lot from my word of 2018, intentional. And, I'm reflecting on those lessons as I look to my word in 2019 and what lies ahead.

I never gave maternal health much thought outside of the general commentary about it being probably the most dangerous thing a woman will do.

I mean…that's major, though but…

Knowing what I know now and looking back at my own experiences while also listening to women close to me has really opened my eyes to certain truths.

So, I just sat there nodding my head and smiling til I felt like a crazy person because Rachel was speaking to my soul.

I stalk follow her on Instagram and have yet to find something that doesn't speak to my organizing heart.

During our #TalkEarly Summit last year, Rachel talked about how our lives aren't curated. As influencers especially, we feel the need to keep the clutter out of our images and only show you the perfection that surrounds us. Want to see what currently surrounds me?

It is 4:51 a.m. I've been up for a bit and I'm wide awake. You are asleep. Not beside me on the pillow that you love to take over but, in your own bed. Mami should be asleep as well but, I don't know what's keeping me up.

Words. I think words are keeping me up. Words keep me company, you know. They weave themselves in my head and, by the time it's all said and done, they form a body that can be easily confused for a real person.

These are some of the questions I've gotten, like, since this morning. I have given my child a "questions" notebook but she never seems to have it on-hand. I am from the "because I said so" generation so, the concept of framing responses is new to me. And, it's exhausting, y'all!

We have had late nights around her feelings and her thoughts and processing questions and responses. On nights like those, I message my girlfriends and profess the melting of my body into the couch or bed a fact.

The day after election day. I was up past 3 a.m. I left the safety of my war room after midnight for the reality of exit polls and concession speeches. I've been seeing a lot of discussions about percentages of people voting. About who voted how. Breakdowns regarding race and gender sliced and diced to serve up with a large side of anger and hurt.

Throughout the next days, weeks and months, I think we have to take a hard look within our own communities to acknowledge some facts, dig into the figures and get a game plan together for this future that we so desperately need.