I've been battling a bit of insomnia. Last night, fed up with the ridiculousness of my brain not shutting off, I decided to pick up my phone and just write down everything that was running through my brain.
I started writing this list at 2:38 a.m. and this is the stream of consciousness that followed.
- I have to finish collecting tax docs to send to accountant.
- Who sent me a 1099 for $822?
- Why can't actual company names be listed on 1099s (that'll match invoices)?
- When will I get this house organized?
- I need to buy a house.
- I need more money for the down-payment.
- How much will closing costs be?
- Why does she have so many little toys?
- I need to get that wardrobe out of her bedroom.
- Did I get my Hispz ticket?
- I gotta book a room in Miami for it.
- I have to drive to Miami.
- I need to get a brake fluid cap for my car.
- How in the hell does a brake fluid cap disappear?
- I gotta do her hair this week.
- I gotta do my hair this week.
- Make appointment with GI doctor.
- Make appointment with cardiologist.
- Make appointment for mammogram.
- Find new OB.
- Get boxes to pack up giveaway books.
- Drop off donations to BETA.
- Send social media links for the Habitat project.
- Go to Kohl's.
- Get non-candy items for Easter baskets.
- Plan to sneak out without the girl for Easter basket.
- Get jelly beans and lollipop for Easter magic.
- Compare invoices to missing 1099s.
- Call pediatrician to get vaccine records and physical exam forms.
- Follow up with school to ensure transcript info is sent in.
- Update WP plug-ins on chapter site.
- Write up short social media platform to distribute to technology committee.
- Find hat, shoes & dress for derby.
- Plan derby attendance around DSMMC.
- Figure out what I'm packing for next week's trip.
- Pack the Frog Princess's bag for when I'm out of town.
- Go shopping for her (tops, pants, sandals, socks).
- Get flowers for mom & grandma.
- Pay car note.
- Schedule school loan payment.
- Find yoga studio.
End time: 2: 48 a.m.
I probably should've added "create an image for this blog post to the list" but I am leaving it at 43. Here's the thing: I should've only been thinking of sleeping and resting. And yet, when I don't do those last 3 items on the list, everything becomes a jumble of thoughts and nerves and "need to do's". Y'all! Why was I thinking of all of this instead of sleeping?
I'm winning my sleep back by making sure that the first things on the list are me, me, me. I can't do it all if I am not well. Sometimes we focus on way too much and that tends to paralyze our forward movement. I need rest, y'all. Sleep and peace. Those are the two things I am praying for as I round the corner to my birthday this weekend.
Do you find yourself staying up at night with your mind racing? What do you do to throttle it down?