Of Learning and Letting Go

For months now, I've been wondering when the right time would be and what I should do.  You see, I've been thinking about putting the frog princess in school.

You might say, but mami, you're at home now.  The thing is that I'm at home trying to start my own business and attempting to go to school at the same time.  I have been struggling during this first graduate school term.  Between blogging, attempting to get freelance work, the frog princess and school, I end up with ZERO sleep (and a cluttered house). Except I realized that I am better at schoolwork during the daytime so I've had to hire #1 caregiver back for a few hours here and there to knock out my work.  Then it's me running up against the clock during naptimes followed by me attempting to do my top-notch writing late at night (should I not pass out from exhaustion).  And yes, this is me making an excuse for putting her in school even though I'm pretty sure I don't need one.

I've been eyeing this little school for...ever. It's down the street from me which is awesome.  But more awesome than that? It's a Montessori school.  There are a few of those around but this one caught my attention and heart because it's a BILINGUAL Montessori school.

The (ex)man and I toured it a few weeks ago and liked the atmosphere.  We love the fact that it's a school that goes up until the 3rd grade.  I also adore the way they have their classrooms scheduled with kids of different ages (3 year age spans).  We had a couple of dilemmas on the school thing: me wanting to make sure she wouldn't be bored in school (because aren't all of our children geniuses) and him being very mindful of her emotional maturity and wanting to make sure she was with kids her age.  This school handles both of those needs.

I can go and on about the fabulosity of Montessori Bilingual Academy but, you can see for yourself if you check out their site (which got a facelift recently and I am very happy for that since I don't know if my OCD would've allowed me to enroll my child in a school that had a subpar website. Don't judge! If you're a techy and a nerd, you'll know what I'm talking about ;-) ).

Here's what I want to talk to you about: exactly how am I supposed to let my child GO to school come Monday? How does this work? Will I need to start drinking early on in the day to get rid of the anxiety? Because I can't since I have to drive to pick her up. Let me tell you that her titi is umpteen miles away in DC and is having anxiety just thinking about her going to school so, imagine what I'm going through! And don't get me started on her dad.  We went to lunch last Friday and he turned to her at one point in time and tenderly said "daddy's not ready for you to go to school". Meanwhile, the frog princess? I dropped off some paperwork at the school tomorrow and she cried because she didn't want to leave.

My left brain understands the need. I've clearly outlined some of them here. It understands that this will be awesome for her and that she will grow by leaps and bounds in an environment that will feed her growing brain and allow her to explore new and uncharted territories.  My right brain (which is indelibly attached to my heart by various nerve conduits) has no clue as to what to make of this.

My 2 and a half year old frog princess.  Who wakes up and hugs and kisses me and tells me she loves me "so so much".  My sweetness who tells me I'm her best friend.  The little girl that has filled much of my time and taken a great deal of my energy since I've been staying home.  How. Do. I. Let. Her. Go?

I am not sure how this will happen yet.  I am counting on you folks to guide me through it as I know some of you have done this.  Ultimately, I know this is what's best for her.  And I guess this is the very first time when I will be letting her go for her own good knowing that it will be difficult for me to do so. It won't be the last.

How did you deal when your child went to school? Any words of wisdom?