The Year of Me


Three years ago today a post went up called Welcome to My Mamihood. I read it and remember that woman like it was someone else's life. Another person altogether. I remember she started writing to tell her story. To share the shenanigans of motherhood with her friends (mainly because she had little time to continue to repeat the same stories over and over again). She started writing because she was lonely. She had so much going on.

In that aspect, not much has changed. I still have a full plate. And yes, I have my lonely days. But so much good is going on in my life. I mean really, really, really. My child is growing up by leaps and bounds. My business is on its way to growing to new heights. I. Work. For. Myself. When did that happen?

Three years ago, I would've never thought I'd be here. That's what happens in life though, right? One day we are in one place and then the next we are propelled by circumstance to a place we never thought we'd be.

I am here. In my mother's old room. Without her. Clearly understanding so much on this day. About what I have to lose. About what I have to gain. About the people who are making this journey with me. And those that must be left behind.

There's been so much that has happened up until now. But I understand one thing clearly: this is the year of me. I must focus on myself in order to continue this journey. For me, for my child. For whoever else will be in my future.

In the coming weeks you will see some changes around here (if I don't fall asleep, you'll see them already). I will introduce you to some new folks in the 'hood because I want to bring some Mamis on board and give you their stories and different stages of mamihood.

I am grateful to you reading this. Grateful that you've stuck it out with me. And I hope you stick around for whatever the next 3 years have in store for me.

Thank you for reading this blog. From the bottom of my heart.

Year of Me

What Does Motherhood Mean to You?

Two years ago I saw a movie that changed my life. I hadn't heard of it before and haven't heard anyone speak of it since though I have no idea how I haven't. It's called Motherhood and it stars Uma Thurman and Anthony Edwards.

In the movie, Uma was a blogger out of necessity but she always fancied herself a writer. And so, we see the ups and downs of what a mami has to go through in one day with all that she had going on daily plus planning for her daughter's birthday AND on deadline to enter a blogging contest that was sure to give her some much needed recognition and cash. All she had to do was answer one simple question: what does motherhood mean to you?

And so, after sleep training the frog princess I was home alone on a Saturday night, tired. Exhausted from long hours working as a project manager, stressed out about my mami's illness, concerned about my relationship and lonely from the burden of what I thought only I was going through, I sat down in front of the television and saw this movie. And I realized 2 things: 1. I was not alone and 2. I had to pick up the pen, so to speak, and start blogging.

This site was up the following week and this welcome was the first thing I wrote for you two years ago today.

Since then I have been through many situations: the loss of my mami, the loss of my partner, the loss of my job. But I have also shared some of my best moments and times, the frog princess growing and flourishing, my faith, funny moments, happy times and general malay. I have gotten to know some pretty awesome folks on Twitter and in real life at the various conferences I've attending. My CFL Latinas, My Dancing to Success Divas, My Boojahjah/Planking babes and so many more!

You've gotten a chance to see me birth my company and return back to school (why didn't you stop me?!). I've had the pleasure of reading your comments, Tweets and Facebook messages which keep me doing this thing. There have been days when your contact is the only other meaningful positive adult interaction I've had.

I now want to answer the question that Uma had to answer on her blog: what does motherhood mean to you?

Motherhood is this. Every word I have written, every thought I have had, every feeling I have shared and experienced. It is waking up at 2 am in a pee-soaked bed, laughing til I cried as my frog princess nibbles on my belly, watching with wonder at my child going potty all-me by meself, seeing the joy of accomplishment as she figures out how to take off her socks, nighttime kisses and earnest words of love exchanged with a creature that was knitted in my womb and who grows more and more each day.

Motherhood is laughter and tears. It is experiencing loss and yet knowing that I have to get up and go the next morning. It is watching daily dances while moving my own feet and learning that my voice may not be worthy of being on the radio but dammit it makes a little someone smile. Motherhood is about dreaming BIG. Understanding that we each have a purpose in life. That we are MORE than just mamis even though being a mami is pretty fulfilling. It is recognizing that we might mother differently but that the love is the same.

And for me, motherhood is realizing that in my world, I will always have My Mamihood. Thank you for coming along for this ride. I am so grateful for each and every one of you that takes the time to read my words.

I want to do something for you. Tell me what does motherhood mean to you? If you are a blogger, feel free to link up and answer that question. If you don't have a blog, leave me a comment below. I will be selecting a winner next Saturday that will receive a copy of the movie Motherhood for your own viewing pleasure and a special little something else (read: whatever I might have in the manner of swag in my closet).

I am grateful for many things in my life. This blog and the real life connections that have entered my life are just two of those things. Now, if I could only get that trophy wife job that I'm looking for!

The Mamifesto!


I thought of this blog the minute I wrote my tagline one year ago today. I toyed with it but never actually started putting finger to keyboard until a few months ago. Tonight, after a playdate with the frog princess the last of it spilled out of me easily and without much trouble, kinda like her farts. A year ago today, I sat on my couch and looked through this thing called WordPress for a template I liked.  I had watched the movie Motherhood the Saturday prior and it had inspired me to finally create a blog (if you haven't caught the movie, check it out, you'll love it too).  I posted my first blog a few minutes after midnight so, I guess that means my official blogoversary is 9/29.  I'm not sure if I'll make it to midnight tonight.

So, here it is.  A year in the making! Thank you for all of your love and support.  T-shirts will be coming shortly (let me know in the comments if you'd like to purchase and what size you'd like so I get an idea of how many to order).  One will read: The Mamifesto and the other will read: Welcome to the 'Hood!  I look forward to many more years of having the privilege to write for you.  Will you sign The Mamihood's Declaration of Independence?

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the mami cliques which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of mamihood and of God entitle them, a descent respect to the opinions of other mamis requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all mamis are not created equal, though we, at heart, are all the same.  That we are endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Maminess.
That to secure these rights, friendships are instituted among women, deriving their just powers from the consent of the mami'd.  That whenever any form of maminess becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of other mamis to remind, support, nurture, understand, love one another and occasionally, kick each other in the ass for the betterment of our own future.
We have inalienable rights regardless of race, creed, color, marital or job status. Among them are:
  • To not feel guilty when we are at work because we are not with our children
  • To not feel guilty when we are at home because we are not at work
  • To be okay with the house looking a mess because our children won't remember a clean kitchen but will appreciate our undying love
  • To be okay with our friends who have perfect houses and not try to get to the deep down secret of how they do it all (because we are all guessing it's a maid)
  • To cut ourselves some slack when we have to run through the drive thru (yes, I want to feed the child organic food too but, sometimes it can't be helped)
  • To not fret over having to sit the kid(s) down in front of the television when we have to make a phone call/answer an email/tweet/blog/poop or call our girlfriend to cry on the phone about what big failures we are
  • To not criticize or judge stay at home mamis because sometimes they work even harder at home as there is never a break
  • To not criticize or judge working mamis because we get a certain joy and purpose from our careers and though some certainly wish we could afford to stay at home with our children, the rest are perfectly happy trying to find a balance that will bring them fulfillment and happiness
  • To keep an open mind with regards to other mamis. Regardless of the parenting choices they have made because we do not wish to be judged either
  • To support fellow mamis even if we don't 100% agree with their methods
  • To befriend, support and show compassion for other mamis and to do away with the S cliques that those that are still insecure from high school insist on creating
I, therefore, the author of My Mamihood (of the Universe), along with my fellow bloggers, mami and non-mami readers alike, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by authority of the good people of this internet solemnly publish and declare, that this mamihood is, and our right ought to be free and independent free thinkers that support one another and shed positivity to each one; that they are absolved from all allegiance to cattiness, BS and negative thinking and that all political connection between us and the negative/little people is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent mamis, we have the full power to change the world, bring to it peace, raise our children in community, contract alliances, establish commerce and to do all other things that we so choose in peace and with a general understanding that the women around us are there to support our decisions. And to support this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor (and occasionally, our dirty diapers).