The Dating Dossier: Mr. PDA


It happened a few weeks ago at around 1am. I was awake and I was watching Sex and the City. I suddenly wanted to write about relationships. About crazy dates. About first kisses. Then I realized: I've never really dated. If I started chronicling my dates on the blog once a week, I might have 6 weeks' worth of post. Not a dater, people. But there are specific stories I think are funny or deep or that got me thinking in a way I hadn't thought before. And there may or may not be funny stories. I also considered starting to date just so I could blog about it. That's still not off the table. Would I have to disclose that at the beginning of the date?

Since I can't do this all myself, I am holding an open call for dating stories. If you wish to keep your name anonymous, I understand.

Shoot me an email and tell me a story. In the meantime, I share this with you. Picture me sitting in a swanky New York brownstone, with my coffee close by and my cigarette candy on my lips. In cute undies. Or maybe in yoga pants.

DD_Carrie QuoteWhat I Don't Want

As women, I think that we are programmed to have a list of what we want. I realized after dating this one guy that I also needed a list of what I didn't want. I was disappointed because on paper, this guy was golden! On paper, we matched up beautifully. He was open with the PDA, called me when he said he would, talked to me on the phone, wanted to know about my day. He did everything that as a woman, I expected and wanted a man to do. It was a beautiful thing.

The first thing that tipped me off? Well, it happened at a basketball game, of all places. Mr. PDA held my hand while we sat together. At least when he could. Because I was into the game and sitting forward, standing up and generally providing my input on the game. In short: I was being a guy. At some point during the game, the ref didn't call a foul he should have. I got up "Come on, man! You didn't see that!" I yelled. The next words that were uttered out of his mouth were the beginning of the end.

"Calm down, it's just a game." Mr. PDA apparently was telling me that I should sit down and what? Watch the game quietly while the crowd burst about me with energy? Telling me to calm down during a sporting event automatically put him on the suspect list. And I realized then, that one of the things I didn't want was a mild mannered man who thought I showed too much emotion at a sporting event.

Want to know what happened next? What did he say? What did he do? You'll have to wait til the next show column post.

Who wants to tell a story next?

PYHO: Thoughts Of a Single Mami

Yesterday I had a thought: I'm never going date!  And immediately I thought of Shell and Pour Your Heart Out.  Though on many days I feel very much like everything's going to be okay and God will give me just what I need, let's face it, I'm human (hard to believe, I know).  Every once in a while I begin to overanalyze, ponder and try to figure out how He's going to get it done.  Because, I mean really, God needs a project manager, right? I'm ready to date. Ready to head out there and meet someone that I can go out, connect and have fun with. I've been on a couple of dates with one particular person but, circumstances have changed and though I very much liked him, he's got some things to work out.  I was at least proud of myself that I was able to recognize this early on and step away before I got too close.

So, where do I meet a nice (not so young) man that is God-fearing, faithful, truthful, funny, supportive and loving (and who won't mind that I'm totally going to blog about him)?  I was thinking about this yesterday and realized there's no place.  Church? I'm usually busy with my date with Jesus when I'm there and tend to block everything out.  The supermarket?  The one sure way to get yourself tazed in my book is by approaching me in the parking lot while I'm with my daughter.  Sorry, I watch way too much Criminal Minds.  I'm not the going out type anymore.  I have gone to the clubs a few times in the last 6 months and I was bored and not impressed.  I'd say that I'm over the club scene.

My baby girl is almost 2 and I think about another child.  But I have no sperm.  And my eggs are aging as we speak.  Add to that the fact that I am pretty sure my endometriosis is rearing it's ugly head again and it leaves me slightly hyperventilating at the thought that I might not experience the beautiful miracle of pregnancy again.

Back to the man.  Where do I go? The thought of online dating is not at all appetizing (again, too much Criminal Minds).  Perhaps I am destined to be alone for the rest of my life.  I'm grateful for my frog princess and for my writing.  Grateful that I can concentrate on my passions.  Perhaps it's not a bad thing. I just wonder sometimes if, now that I am on the other side of 35 and I have a child, dating/marriage/another child is out of the question.

For single mamis out there, what's your take on this topic?