Mami Moments: Creating Who I Want to Be

It's the middle of the night. I fell asleep with the frog princess last night. It never fails to surprise me. One minute I am wide awake and the next I'm waking up wondering what happened. I think I have it figured out. She lulls me to sleep with her rhythmic breathing. When she's awake, I'm fine. It's when her breathing slows and her words cease that the magic happens. The sound transports me to a time when that little body would lie comfortably on my chest and those little lungs would take in air in the same way they do now.

I woke up 2 minutes before midnight. I still had work to finish up for school. Work that wasn't going to get done in 2 minutes. I'm tired of stressing. Tired of trying to be perfect in school and by extension driving myself mad because there's just too much going on. I fell back asleep, lulled once again by the little body probably dreaming of dancing and snacks.

Waking up from my slumber at 3, I made my way to zenMami to get work done. Of course, at 3 a.m. Blackboard goes down for maintenance every night. So I caught up on messages, and scrolled down my timeline. There, I found Jada. And I found words to reflect upon. Lots of them. These caught my eye though:

I love these words. I have been struggling lately. Wanting to stop and smell the roses but feeling as if I had to keep going to fulfill...what? To prove that I can have everything on my plate and make straight A's? To post 3 times a week? To get more business? I don't want to make choices in order to wield a certain outcome. It's been stressful. And it's not the person I want to be.

Ultimately it comes down to that sleeping child and the calm I feel when I listen to her breathing. The choices I make and how they affect her. The choices I will change starting today so that I am not negatively affected.

I want to create the person that I want to be proud of. The person that I want that little body to be proud of. And I don't want to live my life with regrets. Don't want to walk in the what if's puddles that sometimes seem inevitable at certain stages of our lives.

Today my word is FIERCE (a): (of a feeling, emotion, or action) Showing a heartfelt and powerful intensity. What word defines you and allows you to get closer to creating the person who you want to be?

     

Mami Moments: Change of Plans

I had a super secret plan last week. I was going to drop the frog princess off at school and then head to the beach on my very last day before a new term began. I saw it in my dreams. Me, on the beach with my book One Thousand Gifts, with a gallon of water to keep me hydrated and nothing but the ocean breeze calling my name. I would come back and today’s Mami Moment would be about some fantastic ah-ha! moment I was going to have while sitting there in my purple two-piece bikini and my soft belly holding up my book. It was going to be life changing! For me, for you, for anyone who came across this post.

At 6:30 a.m. the frog princess tells me her tummy hurts. With those words the dream came crumbling down. She promptly threw up her breakfast (into her cereal bowl, by the way) and I cleaned her up and then made her cuddle on the couch with me. Do you do that as well? Cuddle when they’re sick? I secretly think that the love I feel will heal her as I hold her. I also pray over her while I cuddle her just in case I need back up healing powers. Alas, that did not work.

A few hours after the puking incident it began to rain. This was even more reason to get under the covers and hang out with my girl. Though I will say I only got a very limited amount of cuddling because while she didn’t feel 100%, very little seems to get my baby girl down.

That day reminded me of how we have to go with the flow. I wasn’t bummed about the beach, just wished I’d done it sooner instead of waiting for Friday.  So the other lesson in that was to not wait until tomorrow (but really, I had things to do before then!).

Also, I think I have lost the sense of spontaneity in my life.

I am going a mile a minute with the blog, trying to get business for my business so that I can, you know? Support us, helping others, going to school, attempting (and by the looks of what I see in front of me, failing) to keep a clean and orderly house along with whatever else I missed on this list.

The beach was the one thing I’d planned for myself all summer. But, my caring for my baby girl was much more important and, while I did miss reading my book and sunning myself while possibly meeting a rich millionaire that’s looking for a trophy wife, I didn’t feel bad in the way that I would have a year ago if something didn’t go as planned.

This year without steady work I am paying more attention to priorities than to what might seem as missed opportunities. The frog princess made me laugh and we got to enjoy an evening at Disney even with her feeling a bit under the weather. All because I learned to go with the flow. How are you at going with the flow when things don’t go when there's a change of plans?

Mami Moments

Mami Moments: Pregnant and Confused

So, before you go on spreading rumors, I am NOT pregnant. Confused? Um, yes. That one I can't deny. I haven't done a Mami Moments in a while and this time around I decided to give the 'hood a taste of another Mami. Granted, her bun is still baking but to me, she's a Mami already.

Meet Ms. Brittany, also known as Clumps of Mascara (how cute is that?). She is pregnant, adorable and apparently, confused. Alas, I was too old anal retentive seasoned to have this particular problem (remind me to tell you about my spreadsheet with my THREE registries complete with pivot tables). But, I know how she feels nonetheless because confusion is just part of mamihood.  Can we help a sistah out?

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Confession: I am 5 months pregnant and unprepared. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that to close friends and my family members but it’s the truth. While my husband and I planned this kiddo to a tee, what I failed to plan was everything outside of conception. And I know that sounds nuts but give me some slack here. I’m a 27-year old first time mom who thought pregnancy would be the awesomely amazing experience but got slapped in the face with 1st trimester sickies from hell.

Okay, first of all - I hate that my Mom, Aunts, cousins and friends never told me the REAL deal about pregnancy. 80% of what I experienced during the first trimester were normal symptoms but seemed all dramatic because I didn’t expect them. Why don’t women talk about the real symptoms? First trimester came and left and I am currently in the trimester that most pregnant women love...and I see why! I am able to eat without hurling, have a cutesy baby bump and have an insane amount of energy. Being pregnant at this stage is kinda...fun! I’ve been enjoying 2nd trimester so much that I’ve failed to think about the necessities for when baby girl makes her appearance. This was all too clear when my Mom and younger sister (the one in college who has never had any kids) took me to get my baby registries started.

I have never been so confused in life. Excitedly, my Mom and sister grabbed a cart, snatched the list and ran off in various directions. I semi-waddled behind and stroked the furry Hello Kitty keychain that caught my eye. I ended up buying that keychain too. That’s right. I didn’t purchase one thing for baby but managed to score another Hello Kitty item that I didn’t need. WTF? is right.

I followed my family around and let them make the decisions for what would end up on my registry. The conversations pretty much followed this...

Sister: “Which bottle brand do you like?”

Me: *crickets*

Sister: Have you not researched the different brands?

Me: Uh....*orchestra of crickets*

How could I be THIS clueless? How am I supposed to know which diaper, bottle, stroller and carseat brands are the best? Was I supposed to research these things before getting pregnant?

I don’t know doggone it. I just don’t know. I always think my friends with kids are too busy to entertain my silly questions so I don’t even ask them. I spent so many years enjoying the kid-free life and now that it’s here I’m like...lost. I reckon I’ll get it together sooner rather than later. I don’t have a choice though, do I?

Can any Moms out there relate? Is it okay that I am this clueless right now or should I be freaking out?

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Don't you just love her? I know I do. Brittany has a sweetness about her that makes you want to go up and give her a hug. I'm totally rubbing her belly next time I see her. And I'll give her that hug because, don't we know what she's feeling? Hang tight babe, I guarantee you that everything is going to be just fine!

Brittany is the editor of the popular beauty blog Clumps of Mascara and a staunch advocate of the power of social media. Brittany has done extensive work as a social media consultant, planning and executing campaigns for a number of organizations. As an authority for all things glossy, shimmery and glittery, Brittany is the President of the Beauty Bloggers of Central Florida  and she hopes that her love for beauty can inspire women to all ages to truly love themselves; inside and out.

Seeing her pregnant has made me ovulate against my will (can I press charges for that?). Be sure to say hi to Brittany and her baby clump on her blog and on Twitter.