We went to the beach today. It's been a while. I was grateful to see the ocean. I don't know if it's because my soul was brought into this world on an island surrounded by clear blue water or if it's all coincidence (and you know I don't believe in that). But, the ocean gives me back a little piece of me whenever I step into it and a little piece of God whenever I step out. As the day started fading, thoughts of mami came to me. Connected forever by clear blue waters. Summers where the beach was the main event. Â Stories, laughter and relationships built within the grains of sand. I started praying as I sat on the wet sand, the waves tickling my feet. Clear blue skies above me, the horizon picture perfect.
I am not sure what I was praying for. I know I was thankful for that moment. For the peace that only the ocean can bring to me. At one point, I wrote the word MAMI in the sand right next to me. After a very short time, a wave came in, caressed my hand and swept the word away from me, mirroring my mother's life on earth a little too closely. As we drove home, I cried as the unshaped memory of calling mami to tell her about the day at the beach formed in my head. I wondered if she was there.
Then, I looked out of the window and, shaped in the clouds I saw it. A frog peeking out of two other clouds. I smiled. Grateful for the reminder that mami is always watching over us.
My prayers turned to strength and to more peace. To resistance. But mostly, they turned to a deep desire in my heart to do right by her and right by the God of the universe. To surrender to whatever path has been laid before me. To allow Him to guide my steps (this is a constant link through my praying day).
Tonight, I had a long talk with my beautiful sister about family stuff. Things that need to be dealt with but haven't. I was drained. I cried on the phone, heavy hearted. And I prayed for answers.
Then, one of my friends on FB posted this link. You may feel however you like about public figures. But the one thing that I cannot deny is that I am drawn to spiritual folk. I happen to think Oprah is one of them. So tonight, I was reminded of the word surrender in a slightly different light. Reminded to guard my thoughts along with my heart. Or perhaps to not guard them at all. I guess it depends on how you look at it.
I love the story she tells for many reasons. I'll let you find your own if you choose to watch it. In the meantime, if you need me, I'll be praying. Let me know if you have a special request and I'll send it up right along with mine.
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