Yery's back! Today she's telling us about her aunt and some unsolicited advice. Tell me this has never happened to you in your parenting career...
So the other day I called to talk to one of my aunts. Of course the majority of the conversation was about my boy, how big and beautiful and smart he is. How well I dress him and how happy/smiley he seems to always be. The conversation turned to â€œwhat are you feeding himâ€. I told her he is still getting most of his nutrients from breast milk but has started solids and is doing well with them. She asked what kind of solids heâ€™s having so I told her heâ€™s had green beans, sweet peas, zucchini, Sweet potatoes, Avocado, Pear Sauce, Apple Sauce, Bananas and rice cereal every once in a while.
Before I could finish my statement, which included a few items I am going to try with him soon, she interrupted to ask how old he is again. I reminded her that heâ€™s 6 months old. She then proceeded to tell me that she knows I donâ€™t know too much about babies, since heâ€™s my first, but that I need to mix chicken in with his vegetables and give him beans.
I knew I would come to this place, the place of wanting to tell someone off for something theyâ€™ve said regarding my parenting skills. See, unlike any other job Iâ€™ve ever had, this is an on the job training type of situation however, Iâ€™m not just blindly winging it. Before I had my son I read any and everything I could get my hands on about all kinds of topics. Since heâ€™s been born there isnâ€™t a day that goes by that Iâ€™m not researching, asking my village questions and having constant discussion with my husband about even seemingly small things.
My initial reaction was to go off and tell her â€œheâ€™s MY CHILD and you should learn to mind your business and stop telling people how to raise their kidsâ€. BREATHE!!!!! I quickly came to my senses and laughed it off instead. NO, I AM NOT GIVING MY 6 MONTH OLD CHICKEN Crazy Lady, but thank you for caring enough to have a BAD OPINION (I guess).
See I've always been an individual. You know, someone who has independent thoughts and doesn't necessarily need anyone to cosign? Yeah, thatâ€™s me. While pregnant I started preparing myself for moments like these so that rather than hemming and hawing I could either politely say â€œthank youâ€ and keep it moving or not comment at all. I honestly didn't think it would be a family member but I guess I wasn't thinking. Family tends to feel entitled to tell you what to do and how to live your life.
Some consider it their JOBS (no salary required) and go around â€œfixingâ€ lives. Before Iyanla was fixing lives the De Castro family had the market cornered. My family can single handedly solve all the worldâ€™s ills. The only reason the Cuban Missile Crisis got out of hand is no one thought to call a member of the De Castro family to ask them what to do. Yes yes y'all, while you are watching Scandal, I grew up with about 12 Olivia Popes, except they no speakie English and somehow know EVERY DAMN THING.
After blowing off some steam with my friends, and some family about my auntâ€™s audacity, I came to the realization that she thought she was helping and in my family asking for help is not needed, unless you need money or practical advice but it sure feels nice to have people that care in their own way.
I mulled it over, talked to different mommies, including those on my Exclusively Pumping Group and after lots of dialogue decided I would use a very small piece of chicken breast from a homemade chicken soup, along with some of the veggies and broth to make him some baby food. HE LOVED IT!!!!!
It reminded me I donâ€™t know everything, even though I swear I do. It also reminded me to use my village when in need of advice. I mean, had I not asked I probably would've waited till much later to give him chicken out of mostly fear of doing something fatally wrong.
What was some advise you received that you found out later was good advise that you should've followed?