Patricia's Speech & False Solidarity


I was hard at work during the Oscars last night thanks to a Redbull and the lack o' organization in my office. While I worked away, social media buzzed in the background. I was happy to hear when Patricia Arquette, honored for her work in Boyhood, mentioned equal pay. I mean, what woman wouldn't love that, amirite? "To every woman who gave birth to every tax payer and citizen of this nation, we have fought for everybody else's equal rights. It's our time to have wage equality once and for all, and equal rights for women in the United States of America."

Patricia Arquette

In the distance, as I prepared for the week I thought "good". And then, the real shit hit the proverbial fan.

If this was a children's book, it might be called Patricia and her patronizing ways. In the press room Patricia continued. I am going to say that perhaps, still high from the rush of seeing Meryl woop at her speech and two or three shots of celebratory liquor on her way to the press room influenced what she said next. I mean, I hope it did. Because, y'all. How do you explain this?

"It's time for women. Equal means equal. The truth is the older women get, the less money they make. The highest percentage of children living in poverty are in female-headed households. It's inexcusable that we go around the world and we talk about equal rights for women in other countries and we don't. One of those superior court justices said two years ago in a law speech at a university that we don't have equal rights for women in America and we don't because when they wrote Constitution, they didn't intend it for women. So the truth is even though we sort of feel like we have equal rights in America right under the surface there are huge issues at play that really do affect women. It's time for all the women in America, and all the men that love women and all the gay people and all the people of color that we've all fought for to fight for us now."

I HAZ questions! When did Patricia fight for the gay people and the people of color? Did I miss this memo? Let me find out my mail hasn't been forwarded after I changed my address!

Also, didn't this speech start with the whole equality thing? Are there no women in the "gay people and people of color" world that she just presented to us? You got some 'splaining to do!

This morning I flashed back to #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen because this is a perfect representation of what folks were trying to bring to light with that hashtag.

Madam! I don't owe you shit! I've been out here with my sleeves rolled up trying to do the work so that WE CAN ALL have equal pay, equal rights, equal justice. For her to imply that somehow she needs MY help to make sure that she lives further within her privilege because some how I owe it to her is simply absurd.

Solidarity is for white women, indeed, Patricia. Carry on with your pretty dress and your privilege.

I am having a minor rant in order for me to purge this out of my system and have a productive day. Did you catch the Oscars last night? What did you think of this speech?

Phenomenal Woman: Lupita Nyong'o at the Oscars


I'm wearing multiple blogging hats this morning. I had these thoughts last night after Ellen's selfie hit my timeline and I had to write about it. Then there were the beautiful gowns, the well groomed gentlemen, Ellen's humor and beauty.

But throughout the night, my breath continued to be taken away by: Lupita. Yes, I am crushing on her. I have not been able to watch the movie yet (there are some movies that require me to be in a certain mindset, 12 Years a Slave being one of them). But I have watched her during this awards season and I continue to fall in love.

Every time I see her, I not only see her beauty, because it is so obviously there. I see her poise, her strut, her confidence. The humility with which she speaks. Her poise. It is so much more than what she is wearing. I think she could show up in yoga pants and a t-shirt and still look outstanding because what you see is beyond her clothes. It is her essence. There's something lyrical about the way she carries herself.

Above and beyond the color of her skin, Lupita radiates light and quiet perfection. I think it's the reason why she grows more beautiful with each gown. More timeless with each step she takes on the red carpet.

I think Maya's Phenomenal Woman when I see Lupita Nyong'o. Please let's stop reducing her to being "well spoken" or "eloquent". She has an Ivy League education, folks. What else could she be?

Let's look beyond that and try to tap into that quiet force that we have all fallen in love with. Because you cannot deny the power behind this smile.

Here's a great recap put together by Caitlin Morton though I'm guessing it will be updated with the vision we were graced with last night.

Photos: Getty Images/Photoshop Magic: Caitlin Morton

And because she blew me away with so much more than she way she looked, I give you her acceptance speech (courtesy of The Washington Post):

Thank you to the Academy for this incredible recognition. It doesn’t escape me for one moment that so much joy in my life is thanks to so much pain in someone else’s. And so I want to salute the spirit of Patsey for her guidance. And for Solomon, thank you for telling her story and your own.

Steve McQueen, you charge everything you fashion with a breath of your own spirit. Thank you so much for putting me in this position, it’s been the joy of my life. [Tears, applause.] I’m certain that the dead are standing about you and watching and they are grateful and so am I.

Chiwetel, thank you for your fearlessness and how deeply you went into Solomon, telling Solomon’s story. Michael Fassbender, thank you so much. You were my rock. Alfre and Sarah, it was a thrill to work with you. Joe Walker, the invisible performer in the editing room, thank you. Sean Bobbitt, Kalaadevi, Adruitha, Patty Norris, thank you, thank you, thank you — I could not be here without your work.

I want to thank my family, for your training [laughs] and the Yale School of Drama as well, for your training. My friends the Wilsons, this one’s for you. My brother Junior sitting by my side, thank you so much, you’re my best friend and then my other best friend, my chosen family.

When I look down at this golden statue, may it remind me and every little child that no matter where you’re from, your dreams are valid. Thank you.

What do you think of Ms. Nyong'o and her moving speech?

What Not to Call a Little Girl

I have laughed at many, many jokes from The Onion. I'm a fan of sarcasm and speak the language fluently. Let me say I caught like 15 minutes of the Oscar red carpet as I tossed balloons with the frog princess. I did manage to catch a glimpse at Quvenzhané Wallis (best actress nominee) and her mom on the red carpet. She seemed like an excited 9 year old. Poised but still 9.

I didn't watch the Oscars. Too much to do and besides, reading the Tweets is much more fun. I'll be honest. That first hour I was watching OWN and taking notes on Life Class. So imagine my shock when I saw this:

I felt queasy when I read it. For a lot of reasons but mostly because I don't care how sarcastic you are and how much bullshit you put out there, saying this about a 9 year old is NOT right. She's 9. And now you get to revel in whatever press you'll get out of this and be retweeted and written about at nauseum.

It took a lot of thinking for me to post this because I don't wish to give them any additional press but as a parent I have to say that this crossed the line. You're calling a 9-year old a cunt. Really?!

There's nowhere in any book where this is okay. I hope that Quvenzhané Wallis does not read that but unfortunately with the way that news travels, I'm sure some reporter will ask her how it feels to be thought of as a cunt. Because that's just how we roll these days.

The Onion lost a follower today. It probably won't matter in the long run. They have nearly 5 million followers so, what's losing one here and there, right?

Let's talk. I'm hoping it's just me being a complete Mami right now and going mama bear on someone but, this sick feeling in my stomach is not going away.  Does anyone else have a sinking feeling when you read these words? Like if this one thing is okay, what else will be acceptable? Or am I reading too much into this?