The Things She Carried

I had some time to think this past weekend. It doesn't happen often. I find myself going from one thing to the next all the while trying to be the best Mami that I can. It gets exhausting when I can't catch a break. Those moments when my body catches up and I can sit in my family room, aimlessly watching a movie or taking a long shower without having to worry about how long I'm in there or what I have to get done when I get out? They are precious to me. Because with them come realizations and new focus.

Related Post: My Battle with Endometriosis

This past weekend, I had deep thoughts about the experiences in my life. The ones so far away that I sometimes question whether they really happened. One situation sparked an entire train of thought that led me to the decision to tell more stories.

Birthday month declarationWe are not single-story humans. Some days, I think we are siloed into our stories by those unwilling to understand that the pieces make the whole. And so in the coming month, I will share some of those stories with you.

Some are funny. Some are sad. But they are all woven into the helix that makes up the woman that stands before you.

It was strange but, for the first time, I saw my life laid out as a web and all the pieces labeled and neatly strewn about. There's a purpose to the pattern. A purpose to the situations I have been in, the people I have met. And as I enter the month of my 41st birthday, it is all truly gelling in my head.

Related Post: What I know for Sure: On Dreaming Big at 40

It is slightly terrifying and a little bit freeing all at the same time.

What's that quote about if you wanted something good written about you then you should've been better behaved? Do you know which one I'm talking about? That's also how I'm feeling.

I'm fresh out of fux, my friends. Not in a bad way. But in a very liberating way that is allowing to have have a certain level of clarity that I've been lacking in the last few months.

It feels like the fog is lifting. And I have stories to tell. I have connections I carry and a perspective about how things align and come to be in this world of ours. Y'all know I don't believe in coincidences. The time I had this weekend wasn't long. A few well-placed hours of introspection. And yet here I am. Ready to plunge into the scary and real side of storytelling.

Will you join me on my journey?

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”  - Maya Angelou

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