I put my head on my pillow at around 2:30 a.m. and prayed. I turned on my side and looked at the mirrored closet doors faintly making out the shadows of words written in purple. Columns of things to do. Assignments waiting to be delivered. Ideas. Thoughts. Words of encouragement. And this thought went through my head:
What the hell am I doing?
You see, I'd just relaunched the business site. With a new name. A new look. And new ideas. I have a team of people ready to jump in and help clients with their needs. Me. All me by meself, as the frog princess used to say.
It scared me. To make the decision to continue to be solely dependent upon me for income, for paying the bills, for caring for us. Me. Not depending on someone else to hand me a check every two weeks. Still not covered by insurance. Hustling.
And then this morning, this entered my head:
And I smiled. Because I know this is right. In spite of the unspoken fears those closest to me feel about me being so"unstable". This is good. And this is right. Through the stress of balancing my checkbook (or not). I think this is what I am supposed to be doing.
I am going to share something with you. It's never been about just me. My secret dream has been to build something not so I can make millions of dollars and be rich, rich, rich. My secret dream was to be able to live comfortably and have my needs met and to own my schedule. Because success looks different for me now. More than that, I am praying God blesses me with the ability to help other Mamis own their schedule. So to that end, when you check out the new Mamihood Media, I hope you head over to take a look at the wonderful ladies that have held my hand as I jump from this diving board. Oh and my brother. He's always wanted a harem and now he can (kinda) be part of one.
To him I owe this most beautiful logo that I fall in love with every time I see:
I also want to thank him for believing this is possible. He has provided me the same support that I provide my dreamers when I coach. I will be forever grateful.
In the coming week, there will be some changes here too. I hope you stick around to see them. And I hope this reminds you to jump off the board and dive into your purpose.