Mami has been with me all week. Â On Monday she brought a situation to pass that, though rough at the start, transitioned itself into a moment of deep growth, connection and peace. Â I had a crying session last night on my way home as the hole that was left behind from the physical space that she occupied seemed particularly large. Yesterday I went online to listen to the local Christian radio station. Â When I went to the home page, I saw an image of a flower with the words "I Love You Mom". I was moved to click on it and got to read about how the Z is honoring moms this month. I couldn't help myself. I wrote the following note. Â Not so much for anyone else to read but for mami. Â I kept it figuring that I'd post it as a blog and had actually already forgotten about it when I received an email this evening from Alana Chambers letting me know that she was going to be reading what I had written tonight! I can't tell you how that made me feel. Â The word for the week has been: humbled. Â I've had so many instances of grace and blessings these last few days. It's hard to explain. Below is what I wrote about mom. Â Those of you that frequent my blog will have to forgive me because you may have read some of this in the past. Â Can you do me a favor? Â If your mom is still alive, give her a call, will you? Â Even if she annoyed you the last time you spoke. Or if she hurt your feelings. Â Especially call her if you argued. Â If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for me. Because more than anything, I wish I could make that call that some people are avoiding right now.
I am the proud mother of a 17-month old little girl. This will be my 2nd mother's day being one.Â It will also be my 1st mother's day without my own mother.Â The light of my life. My best friend and cherished advocate.
Mom was diagnosed with bile duct cancer last April and she won her battle by going home to Jesus on February 2nd. It is still hard for me to believe that she is gone. While we were waiting for her to pass, I read her one of my favorite bible verses, 1 Corinthians 13. It wasn't until that very moment that I realized why I have always been drawn to that passage.Â It described my mother's love perfectly.
She was a friend to all, welcomed anyone that came to her door and made everyone feel like a cherished long-time friend. The nurses fell in love with her during her chemo sessions and though there was a slight language barrier, I know they did so because of the love that she exuded and the faith that she carried with her always.
I have written several blogs about her but I always find more to say. Mom, I miss you so much. I have no words to explain. I am so grateful that God chose you to be my mother. To love me as you did so that I can love my child in the same way. I know you are in heaven dancing with joy so I try my hardest to not feel so much sorrow knowing that you are well again and back home. I love you more than words could ever say. Thank you for praying for me. For loving me and for being the best mother not just to me, but to all who were fortunate enough to have met you.
(don't forget to donate to The Relay for Life. We are @ 62% with 2 days to go!http://main.acsevents.org/goto/WeLoveElena)
1 Corinthians 13:
1Â If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.Â 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.Â 3Â If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4Â Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.Â 5Â It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Â 6Â Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.Â 7Â It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Â Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.Â 9Â For we know in part and we prophesy in part,Â 10Â but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.Â 11Â When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.Â 12Â For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13Â And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.