Where Is Your Toilet?


Disclosure_Image Three days. Three days was the time it took to potty train our daughter. Within the next six months, her bed was dry. Potty training was easy. I was practically an expert and these horror stories of kids wetting themselves constantly were so confusing, surely something was missing, something was not done right.

Then after our second child hit the toddler stage I quickly learned that it was by sheer luck and not expertise in which our daughter was so quickly potty trained. Our son was adamant in informing us that while our toilet was the porcelain throne we've decorated to make more appealing, his was his cozy spot behind the couch and in his diaper. He was not to be dissuaded.

We tried training pants and while they worked on occasion, it became another glorified diaper for him. The arrival of the newest member of the Garza gang made him not only more adamant on where his “toilet” was and that he no longer was a big boy, he was in fact still a baby. And so back to diapers we went.

Once the “expert” mama, now outnumbered, was defeated. Be humble, Yanira or be humbled. A great lesson to be taught by a 2 year old. And so I reached out to the real experts, a cousin with three kids of her own which meant she has done this three times. Her tips were easy to follow but I was already disillusioned and had resolved myself to send my child to college in diapers.


Truth was, I wanted him to feel like a big boy but was still putting him in diapers and similar contraptions. And so we entered the journey of “underwear training” instead.


Pampers Easy Ups Training Underwear, with the fit, feel, and look of real underwear, was launched just last month and in the last few days, we have helped our strong willed baby become a strong willed big boy but certainly not without a few hilarious moments that weren't so hilarious at said moment. A few accidents, like removal of said underpants after the fact...twice...in his room. But then something odd happened.


I gained a bit more patience, asked where he should go potty because “maybe you aren't ready for underwear yet.” With the fear of losing his beloved big boy “underwear” with his beloved Thomas the Train on them, he bucked up.

 “oh 'der,” he says pointing at the porcelain god we all now share.

Please watch the video of our son, eager to play and run around, get excited as our friends at Pampers sent him his very first “underwear” for a smoother transition into boyhood.


If you're looking to try out these training pants, check out this coupon for $2 off!!

The Potty Papers: Epilogue

If I had delusions that my baby girl was NOT growing up, they have now been summarily dismissed. I have been putting off writing about this about this because, with it comes the realization that the little 6 lb 4.4 oz little bundle that I carried in my belly is now well on her way to early childhood.

It is my pleasure to announce that for the last few weeks the frog princess has been sleeping in her undies. And though I positively adore Pampers I am happy to say that we are a diaper free home now!

How exactly did this happen and why am I sad over it? I remember I couldn't wait to get her potty trained. Ya'll remember, don't you?

I am sad because time is moving faster than I care to admit.  Wasn't I just pregnant with her? I look back and see that it was three years ago this month that I found out I was having a girlchild.  THREE YEARS!

And now all I am left with are beautiful images of my little bundle and that same spirit that she's always had.

On her first day at home and that same outfit next to her last size of diapers. Wow.

The Scoop on Potty Training:

I started doing this in May when I knew she would be going to school. While I used the "one day potty training" method, let me tell you, it's not all done in one day. But, as I'm sure you've heard, the key is consistency. Once I figured out that her Easy Ups were keeping her from figuring out when she was wet and keeping me from being consistent, everything changed.

Okay so, I'm here to tell you that we still have timing issues with the poop. This was definitely the hardest thing to get her to tell us. It still is. And then it's so sad (and cute) to hear her tell us: I'm so, so sorry (with a slight lisp, hands together head bowed and puppy eyes staring at you with a slight pout of the lips - this chick should be on TV!).

Just last Sunday she pooped in her pants rather than miss out on fun (I will never understand this). The first time she pooped in the big girl potty she told me she was scared. Who is scared of not having poop up against their bottom, I ask? Apparently, all toddlers. Who knew? This was also her way of keeping control. There were a couple of times that she held it for a couple of days. Don't panic if this is happening to you.

Some pretty awesome docs recommended that I just give her foods that would make her poop. I found dried blueberries to be the magic pill and now keep her eating them regularly for, well, regularity.

If you are just starting on this potty training journey, welcome and DON'T GIVE UP!  One day very soon you'll look back at the diaper days and actually think back on them fondly. That is, until you actually have to change another diaper.  How were your potty training experiences?

For more on potty training check these out:  The Potty Papers: Ready  The Potty Papers: Set The Princess and the Potty Wearing the Big Girl Panties


Wearing the Big Girl Panties

A few weeks ago I watched one of those weird obsession shows late at night and it traumatized me. I don't want my child wearing diapers at age 22 and sleeping in a big crib and drinking out of a baby bottle. Shortly after the traumatizing event, I went on to Pinterest in order to bring happy thoughts into my brain and found an interesting post about the one day potty training.  But ya'll, I wasn't ready.  Then I realized that what I'm not ready for is a child to speak in full sentences and use the word "diagnosis" and still be in diapers.  I think "diagnosis" was my breaking point.

So this morning, I went gung ho.  And by gung ho I mean I was completely unprepared and had little to none of the items that were mentioned in the post that inspired all this craziness in the first place. But, I had Hershey's Kisses (thanks to the good folks at Hershey's who let me build an Easter basket. Yes, I still have Easter candy in the house, don't judge!).

And so, armed with 3T non-descript big girl panties, a potty, a piece of butcher paper, my mamiPad, my phone, unlimited amounts of water, a tiled floor and towels, I set off on the journey.

This is what I learned:

I can be the next Jane Fonda, with a twist.

If you ever want to lose weight, I suggest you call me and for the low low price of $19.99 I can send you a video of my potty dance. If you do that three times a week, you will lose weight (or at least gain muscle). I am exhausted. The level of enthusiasm was great. I can't say it was fake because I truly was ridiculously excited when she was going potty. I always am, you know.  All I can say is that I am going to sleep well tonight.

Apps on the mamiPad are cool but...

...only if they actually go off when the mamiPad is not on. I was happy when I downloaded iGo, the Pull Ups app. I didn't buy a timer (see earlier statement regarding my preparedness) and wasn't looking forward to trying to set 300 alarms in my phone. This app was great but, it wasn't going off unless I had it on constantly which I didn't. Fail.

Be mindful of who you call.

The post suggested you make calls to overly happy potty enthusiasts such as yourself in order to reinforce the behavior.  However, people with full time jobs working in an office setting might have a hard time getting as crazy about pee as you.

A mishap is still kinda cute.

Baby girl went on the floor as she was playing. Of course, this was after 2 potty sessions with no results.  Suddenly I hear "uh oh". As I get her to stand up she says "I'm sorry mami!" and looks so, so sad. It was kinda cute. I wish I had the camera but instead, I had to go clean up the mess.  I told her it was okay and that it was an accident. "assadent?" yes, baby, it was an assadent (<--new word bonus).

The stars ruled!

Although I was giving her positive reinforcement with kisses (the real and the Hershey's kind), I found that seeing me draw the stars on the paper above the potty did something for her.  When I asked her to count the stars with me, that seemed to open up a whole new window I didn't even realize was there.  I've always known she reacts well to PR (that's positive reinforcement, people) but I didn't realize how little it took.  Imagine if I actually prepared and had real stickers instead!

At the end of the night, we laid in my bed facing each other and talking about the day. I kept telling her how awesome she did (we only had 2 accidents, no wet diapers, though). Then she told me "mami, I do potty. I did it!" and it was as if she had learned a big secret in life.  I think she did. One that I will try my best to remind her as often as I can. You can do anything!

When she's in the White House one day, I will be sure to remind her that it all started on a rainy day, with tons of kisses, big girl panties and stars.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring but, that's another blog for another day.  Anyone out there potty training? How goes it with you?

"My Eye!" and Other Bedtime Fantasies

I knew this would happen.  How could I not?! I mean I did read the book and listen to Samuel L. Jackson's fabulous narration of it (if you've been living under a crib, I'm speaking about Go the F*** to Sleep). Things started slowly. Sometimes the frog princess would ask me to lie down next to her and she'd hug me and kiss me.  Who doesn't love that? Well, apparently my mami brain has me forgetting a few things.  Thank GAWD I keep this blog otherwise, how would I have remembered what a master of manipulation she is?

In the last week things escalated pretty quickly.  At first I thought it was cute. "Mama, my eye!" she would whine out holding a hand up to her eye while it was shut. I would blow in the general direction of the eye and she would say "oh, all bedda". Because we all know that mamis can do 2 things very well: kiss away the hurt and blow out the pain. On a related note, I caught her blowing on her own eye the other day in the car. She told me it worked. I can't make this up people!

As we are going through potty training, it stands to reason that the next move would be this. "Mama, pawyee!" she's say as she scrambled to her feet and hustled to pick up her burp cloth and poor Clifford who must accompany her to the bathroom.  Once there, she'd sit and then announce with a huge smile "all done!".  Chick! You haven't done anything! But, okay.  One night she got me twice with this one.  I almost tripped the first time as I ran thinking we weren't going to make it. Good times.

I will say that she does keep her routine fresh, though.  A variety of reasons come up.  The biggest ones have to do with hugs, kisses, the eye situation and the need to have the precise GPS location on not 1 or 2 or 3 but 4 stuffed animals thankyouverymuch.  The last 2 nights though, I've called her bluff fully intending to give her one of my already famous speeches about how she should not tell me she has to go potty unless she absolutely has to and she needs to cease and desist with the delay of bedtime.

Wouldn't you know it?! Two nights in a row, I've taken her to the bathroom and she has smiled up at me with what I have now coined the "potty smile" and tells me "I did it!".  So, my speech will have to wait.

In the meantime, I foresee some seriously cute excuses to avoid bedtime.  While they are aggravating, I'll be honest, sometimes it's just cute beyond words. I am happy to report that I am good at masking the smile until I have turned away from her.  But, friends, it is not easy!

Here's the part where you share and make me feel better.  What do your kids use as an excuse to not go to bed?

The Princess and the Potty

I've been a little productive today. I got most of my paperwork in to head back to school.  I am preparing for an afternoon meeting and I generally have a good sense of focus. Although she's great about sitting on the potty in the mornings and actually peeing (happiest moment for me of the day, probably), she's hit and miss on the rest of the day. I really need to buy a timer so that I can set it to every half hour or whatever it is that I need to set it to.  Let's face it, I forget to go to the bathroom sometimes and I have an intimate relationship with my bladder! Don't get me wrong, I'll change a diaper in a heartbeat but every once in a while, you people distract me and I am not as timely as I should be with taking her to the potty.

Well, a few minutes ago, we made a run for it. I had to go and I was pretty sure she had to go. I touched her Easy Up® and she seemed to have a little pee in it. I figure we'll make a go of it anyways.  I pull everything down and sit her on the potty and then I feel it.

Shit. In my nail. Left hand. Ring finger. I should probably tell you that not an hour ago I changed the poopy diaper for the day! Or so I thought.

As you may have guessed, it went all over her legs as I slid the Easy Up® down. It was also on the potty seat.  I tear it off and place it on the floor.  Did I mention I had to pee like a racehorse? Because I did! So I used the potty (and got no potty dance, by the way). While I was doing that, she apologized to me. I was just telling her "baby, you have to tell me when you're poo, ok? You should tell mami when you have to go potty". With her big brown eyes and long lashes she squeaks out "I'm sorry, mama" which is just too adorable for words. I tell her it's okay and ask her to sit there while I grab wipes.  She did as she was told and we cleaned up the mess.

When I got her up to finish cleaning, I noticed that the princess had shit all over her potty.  So, that got cleaned up too.  Baby wipes, Clorox wipes, Lysol and everything else in the book.  I should own stock in these companies.

You know, I've been thinking that I need to cut off my nails. They're getting too long anyway and I hate typing on the Mac keyboard with long nails (I don't know why but, there you go. Don't judge!).  Besides, I don't need any more places were shit can creep in.

The best part of the whole thing? The one that made me want to giggle but I had to stifle it down like you do a fart in public? When I took her diaper off and set it on the floor she looks at me, smiles and says: Look mama! 'tella!  What pray tell was she referring to? What awesome thing was she comparing her poopy diaper to? Well my friends, my daughter very astutely picked up on the fact that her shit looked surprisingly like the Nutella that she loves so much!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find a nail clipper.

The Potty Papers: Set...

The kid peed in the bed.  Now, it wouldn't be a problem if she'd peed in HER bed but, I don't have a mattress cover thingy!  I know, I should've gotten one earlier but, what are you gonna do? I'm glad she drinks lots of water because it meant that the pee wasn't too concentrated and I could easily clean it up with some awesome household products! I was given some good advice on potty training this week. Try putting her on the big potty with her little cover and see what happens.  This will eliminate her getting up while I'm "modeling" for her and unable to run behind.  I have these cute little panties I'm going to use starting Monday and go from there (for her, not for me though I probably could use some cute little panties too but, I digress).  Will need to buy an egg timer to remind me to put her on the potty though.  Otherwise, I'll be cleaning up pee all day long.  Which reminds me: SO glad we have tile and not carpet (wouldn't be doing this otherwise).

It was funny because I went to get in the bed and here she starts talking half asleep and says something about pee and pats her diaper.  It's how I realized she had leaked.  When I looked at her, I couldn't help but laugh. My frog princess half asleep, with a big 'fro.  She had a hair tie hanging precariously off of the tip of her hair to the side.  It looked like it was hanging on for dear life! It seemed that the hair got out of the hair ties at the same time as the pee (it was a free-for-all, I tell ya).

I'm excited about the next stage of the potty situation.  I'll keep you posted after my first day. Pray for me, people!

The Potty Papers: Ready...

The Potty Papers: Ready...

If this was a race, we would be at the stands (or rocks or whatever the hell it is that you call those little block thingies that the people put their feet on before they take off running around the track). Well, actually, if this was a race, we'd be still stretching. I have a potty.  I even have a seat cover.  I have some Pampers® Easy Ups.  I have a kid.  That should do it, right?  Well, not exactly.  Although she used to like sitting on the potty, ever since we moved she's not really interested.  Even in the mornings when she wakes up dry (which I get VERY excited about).  I do a little excited dance and she dances along with me and then I say, let's go pi-pi (that's Spanish for pee-pee ;-) ). She stops dancing, looks at me with her non-chalant attitude and says no.

She follows me into the potty anyway and sometimes she'll sit on the potty.  But most times, she likes to wait til I'm on the potty and peeing (because everyone says I have to model for her) and then she gets up from her potty, diaper-free and makes a run for it.  The frog princess thinks this is hilarious.  Me?  Not so much. Of course about 2 minutes after this, she overfills her diaper with the contents that SHOULD be in the potty.

I have a few potty picture books but she's not interested in those  and she loves books! What happened?  I have even resorted to bringing the potty to the family room to see if she'll sit in it while she's watching a television show.  Although she can go into a deep trance where she recites everything that's on TV and will not listen to the calls of her name, she notices sitting on the potty and does not do it.  I can't fool her!

Alas, I don't know what I am doing wrong.  I thought she was ready.  She's peed in it before.  She even POOPED in it once! I took a picture but won't post it here because I'm sure I'm the only interested enough in poop to take a picture of it.  In my defense, I'm trying to capture all her firsts!

I feel like we are going from ready to...none.  Any potty training suggestions?

After hitting "publish" on this blog, the frog princess got on all fours and I heard the pee hitting the diaper.  When I told her she should tell me when this was going to happen, she proceeded to get Freddy, the teddy and sit him on the potty. She was having a few conversations with him but I'm afraid she was reciting everything I've been telling her.  Right down to the clapping! 

Pissing Match

For the last couple of weeks, the frog princess has been leaking at night. Well, she hasn't, the diaper has. Now let me say that I am a loyal fan of Pampers. I used swaddlers with her and moved on to baby dry when she started wearing bigger sizes. Now, she used to have accidents sometimes which was understandable because my baby drinks a ton of water. Here's the thing, all of a sudden it's been happening REGULARLY and I've especially noticed that it's been with this last box of diapers. She's in a size 4. The big problem is that in the last week, she's been waking up in the middle of the night crying and all wet. So her sleep was disturbed as was mine.

This past weekend I just had it! I was pissed (pun totally intended). I posted a frustrated tweet on Sunday night. Funny enough, Pampers replied and asked that I call. After explaining the situation, I was told to go ahead and move her up to a size 5 because they are more absorbent and also that I should pick up the overnighters. Because I'm only halfway through my current box of size 4's, Pampers said they'd send me some coupons for diapers which I appreciated. But mostly, I just want my baby to not wake up wet. Their advice went a long way.

I grabbed some size 5's which seem to be working. Publix did not have Pampers overnighters but they did have Huggies so I grabbed those because at 6:30 I can't possibly go store hopping to look for the brand. The size 5's are working well during the day. Night 1 of the Huggies and she woke up a little wet though not in the middle of the night. I was grateful for the night's sleep and not having to change sheets and jammies and cleaning my frog princess up. Night 2, she woke up dry with the Huggies and I was VERY happy.

Today is the 3rd night and I felt like I was dressing one of the astronauts. She thought it was hilarious as I poked, prodded and ensured that she was tightened in the right places, equally covered, etc. I've never taken so much care to put on a diaper as I did tonight. When I get my coupons I will try the Pampers Overnighters.

I don't know about you but, I am VERY brand loyal and especially with the things that I use on my baby girl. I'm a Pampers girl all the way and especially after seeing that they took the care to reach out to make sure that my frustration was handled. Good customer service goes a long way!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Of course, this begs the question as I am about to embark on potty training: has the pissing match just begun? What do you guys do when you have leaky diapers? What type of diapers do you use? Which ones are your favorites? Here's hoping to a piss free night!